I’ve been in AA a few years now and I have seen more than a few lively discussions, problems of opinion and quite a few “personalities” where I should have seen “principles.” I have tried my best to look at our Traditions as I understand them and as they have been taught to me by longtimers. Observe and learn rather than attack and antagonize. Of course our 12 Steps have saved us from our alcoholism and were, I believe, divinely inspired. As I have come to understand it, our 12 Traditions are designed to save Alcoholics Anonymous from its members, the misguided, the careless, and even the well intentioned. Protecting our little fellowship from straying from our message, plan of recovery and the safe meeting places in which we can discover our own personal recovery.
I walked into my first AA meeting hopeless enough and desperate enough to listen and do. I found a place where I believed that this “not drinking” thing just might work. It was an open meeting at a clubhouse. Courtslippers, regulars, oldtimers and newcomers alike even a few just like me who came only to test the waters. Thank my higher power that the door was open and the meeting started on time and ended on time. The format was regular and consistent, which I found comforting- as structure had been simply absent in my failed alcoholic life. I remember hearing that my first meeting, that the meeting was to address our problems with alcohol if we had other addictions or problems feel free to share it with someone after the meeting. Confining my sharing time in meetings to my problems with alcohol was easy. I had a 25 year, bumpy road to get to AA. My road was filled with frequent drug abuse, alcohol and mental problems, but it was the alcohol that was killing me and destroying my family. It was a comforting feeling, that first exposure to singleness of purpose; I knew what I was there to recover from and the solution to my alcoholism.
Another of my early meetings thankfully proved to me all I needed to be welcome was a desire to stop drinking. No one in my meetings had told me to stop, asked me to stop or demanded I prove I was an alcoholic. Which was a good thing because when I walked in I wasn’t sure I could do this forever, or “for good” (see p90.) After a few weeks of hearing “just for today” and “keep coming back” I discovered I did want to quit for good and was willing to go to any lengths. “Our only requirement is a desire to stop drinking,” helped keep me coming back happily and regularly. Everyone else was telling me I had to quit, must quit, had to stop, my therapist, the family, employer. But here I found I was welcome with just a desire to stop drinking and I sincerely had that.
I have read some of our AA history and have heard speakers share some of what the chaos, missteps and outright failures were that gave us our 12 Traditions. I’m again convinced, that like our Steps, the Traditions were supplied by a power greater than the people who wrote it.
Sara M.